Tall Tales and Honey Treats.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Sunday, May 6, 2012

last night, between being pulled by the supermoon and the kneading of a cat's paws,
I had a dream that I shaved half my head before loosing the guts to finish.
I woke up relieved to have all my hair, until I felt again the hole of half my heart.

(I prefer to be bald)

today I start meditating.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

boom

Monday, January 23, 2012

love

Love Sonnet XI

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.

Pablo Neruda

every day winning

its hard to tell what was the best part of the day...buying beautiful produce at an open air market in the morning? Eating the best cheese of my life on a still warm baguette? 3.50 euro movies? Gourmet crepes? Robert Pattinson fighting circus animal cruelty? no, definately watching Paris A Minuit and cheering when the theater we were in was in the movie takes the cake. Really, any day with Lauren Bos is truly a winner.

Every person I meet today is a mirror of some part of me.

Momento Mori

I was deeply affected to hear of the sudden passing of one of the professors in the Department of Art History yesterday. While many of my peers were heartbroken over the loss of the woman they enjoyed (and fear, and respected) greatly in class, I, perhaps selfishly, was most sad over what I missed. I am set to take what would have been her courses this coming year of school and now that opportunity no longer exists. Given my profound respect for my teachers and professors, both passed and current, the chance to know better the sheer brilliance of Filiz Burhan is devastating. This is a huge loss to of course the people who loved her, but also to our department.

I have noticed that in my life I hate missing out on things...events...people... maybe this human longing for what I cannot have is why I love Art History so damn much. Throughout my life I have carried a deep nostalgia for the past and desire to know more of it. But it doesn't matter when or where something comes from, as long as it resonates with you.
I have been attempting the age old struggle of disconnecting myself from time by being more aware of the present moment. Who knows, this could be your hay-day, everything could be gone tomorrow in a Rapture that actually happened.

So there is a certain, very personal note that this death has struck in me that goes beyond who she was. Looking at things like facebook statuses last night seemed so trivial after facing death. When I told my sister Tiffany of this she said, "I feel like it happens even more when its not someone you are super close to, because you dont have the emotions as much as the reasoning to say 'shit what is it all about if you can just die at any time?'" Losing professor Burhan has reminded me of the strength of the human spirit and the ability to challenge oneself as well as put back into perspective many day to day things. Affirmed within me are the convictions to keep silently blessing the people on the street as we walk by each other, to say "I love you" readily and with honesty, to be not so quick to judge or respond with negativity, to rejoice in the victories and happiness of others, to share the joys and inspirations I stumble upon, to see things as challenges rather than problems, to not let any thoughts or beliefs or stereotypes limit any part of life, to be my best self, to be grateful for the road behind and the road ahead but to still feel the ground under my feet: to be enraptured by the glory of this very moment.

Monday, May 2, 2011

5.2

Two years ago today my sister looked me in the eye and asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I looked her right back, knowing instantly and said, "I want to move to Paris."
And here I am.